The pattern

Okay, so whenever I don't see him, I feel happy when I get home.
But when I do see him, it reminds me how much I like him, and then I miss him so much when he is gone.
So I know I shouldn't see him if it makes me feel this way, but I don't want to not see him. Forget about the whole crush, and he is a really good mate. I don't want to loose him as a friend. I just have to get over him.
Even if I don't want to...